the journal

So, growing up I was always a perfectionist and I liked to get good grades in all my classes. I remember being so upset if I got anything but an A even though I didn’t love every subject. There weren’t very many options for electives so in Middle School and Jr. High my favorite subject was English. I remember that it was the only advanced placement class I was in because I hated every other subject. I was so fast at typing and I liked to read and my favorite part was writing. But, I didn’t like research. AT ALL. Writing stories and telling my life experiences (not that I had any cool ones at that age) was my favorite. I loved to be creative and that was really the only outlet for me because my school didn’t offer much in that department.

Then finally in 9th grade, I tried out for the High School dance team and made it! That definitely became my next favorite subject! I loved being able to move and express myself in a way that I hadn’t been able to before. My favorite dances were lyrical and military. Contradiction, right? I loved the lyrical dances because I was able to portray peace and love and belonging. And I loved the military dances because they challenged me and made me feel in control. Being on the dance team was so fun but soooo much work! I remember waking up at 5am in the summer to get to practice every morning. And that lasted basically allll year long. … That might be why I decided not to be on the team for more than one year! haha!

After dance, I joined Choir and found what I had been looking for all along! I’ve always loved to sing and grew up listening to my mom sing and play the piano all the time. She has a beautiful voice and I always wanted to be just like her! She is so gifted and can sing Soprano (the really high part). So, when I started choir, I started as a soprano. And it was fine, but I quickly realized that I didn’t like to sing that part. It wasn’t until my Jr year in High School that I really started to find my voice. I moved from soprano to alto (the lower women’s part) and I loved it! I loved being able to harmonize with the other vocal parts in each song and I loved being able to sing something that wasn’t just the melody. And my favorite part was being able to move someone else with what I sang.

Looking back, I never would have been able to tell you why I loved choir so much. But as I’ve grown as a wife, as a mom and as an entrepreneur, I’ve learned that I loved it so much because it gave me life. Because it allowed me to share my love with others and because it made me feel loved and like I was part of something bigger than myself. Because it made me feel creative and because it lifted people up and brought people together. Because it made me feel like I belonged. So, it’s no wonder that I’m a wedding photographer now. It took me a while to figure out what I wanted to do after I graduated high school and even college, but looking back like this, I know that I’ve found something I love. That makes me feel loved and lets me be as creative as I want and helps me to bring people together and lift people up. And I love that!