July 1, 2019

Comparison | Personal | Oregon Wedding Photographer | Sarah Tapp Photography

Most people probably wouldn’t think of me as someone who cares what others think. Mostly because I’m an introvert and I’m okay not having lots of friends. 🤷‍♀️🤪But…especially lately comparison has been so hard for me. ..In my personal life and in my business. And not because I want others to think I’m perfect or better than them, because I’m not! But because I am hard on myself.

I have 2 beautiful daughters, one is 2.5 and one is 7 months. And while I really didn’t enjoy pregnancy, I wouldn’t give them up for anything! But after I had my first daughter, I was sick for about a month and so I lost my baby weight real quick. Which was nice, but I wouldn’t recommend loosing it that way. However, after the birth of my second daughter, I seemed to not loose very much right away and then I even gained weight. I’m the heaviest I’ve been in my life and while I’m still considered healthy, I look at this body and I’m sad, disappointed and frustrated. I’ve never had self-worth or body image issues until now and that’s something that’s been really hard on me. And then I look at other moms who are working out every day and eating healthy and I’m frustrated that I can’t be like that too! It’s hard for me to see them doing so well, and for me to still be in the same place after 7 months … And not any closer to getting a handle on this new life with 2 kids and this new body. … But, I have to remind myself that I carried my baby for 9 months and that it’s okay for me to focus on her and on my family right now. It’s okay for me to let my body take a back-seat for now… just as long as it doesn’t always take a back-seat. That I need to be thinking of long-term goals that will work for me instead of trying to diet or go on exercise streaks randomly. And that for now, I am doing the best I can and that’s enough for everyone around me…so it should be enough for me too.

And then there’s my business. I LOVE being a wedding photographer and it’s something I am so passionate about but I can name multiple times where I’ve looked at someone else’s images and thought, ‘they are so much better than me’ or ‘how do they do it all and do it all so well?’ or ‘I wish I had enough time, money, etc. to make my business successful like theirs is’. And it goes on and on. There have been several times over the past couple years that I’ve seriously considered giving up on this dream. I’ve thought that there’s too much competition and that I don’t have anything unique to offer. But luckily for me, I’ve had education and mentors and gone to workshops and met with other creatives that have convinced me otherwise. They’ve taught me that the only reason someone books one photographer over another is because of a personal connection. Because they FELT something from your website, from communicating with you, from your images and they’ve LOVED it and LOVED YOU! And that is why I keep fighting for this. That’s why I keep blogging and posting on social media and sharing love…because I do have something unique to offer and I don’t need to compare myself to others. BECAUSE I AM ENOUGH! And so are you.

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