the journal

Oh my goodness, having kids changes your life completely! My husband and I always knew we wanted kids but once we finally had our first daughter, our relationship changed drastically. It was so much harder to make time for each other and to stay connected and in love. Our daughter is almost 2 now and we just welcomed another little girl into our family! It’s taken us a while to really figure out how to stay connected and we are still working on it everyday. But here are a couple things that have helped us!

1 ~ Bed time! Making sure we put our daughter to bed on time has been a huge help! We put her to bed at 8pm every night and after that it’s time for us to spend together. We put our phones away and we try to do something together! We’re not always the best at this and sometimes we go through phases where we don’t do anything together at all. But we do try as much as we can to choose something to do together. It’s not easy, especially since we have different interests, but when we take time for each other, we feel more connected and our relationship is always strengthened.

2 ~ Communicate! Oh man, this is something Geoffrey and I actually really struggle with. We’re both introverts and we tend to just keep things to ourselves. And then we (mostly me) end up breaking down and getting frustrated with the littlest things! But, we have really been working on this lately. At least once a week, we try to sit down (after our daughter goes to bed) and just talk! Instead of turning on the tv or doing something else together, we talk about our week and just try to communicate with each other about anything and everything! Sometimes, we need something to get us talking (like prompts) but that is totally fine! It gets the conversation going and then we can talk about what we really need to. Any issues we’re having individually or as a couple and anything we’re worried or excited about. No topic is off-limits!

3 ~ Regular date nights! I know this is something I have said over and over again. But having regular date nights, away from the kids, is MAJOR! It gives you time to re-connect with each other and not worry about kids or life or anything else! Lately, Geoff and I have been super stressed about finances and sometimes we end up talking about it on date night and it always ends terribly! So, when you choose to have a date night, don’t worry about things! Just focus on having fun and connecting with each other! Get creative and do something that you maybe wouldn’t normally do! I promise that taking time away from your kids for just 1 night a week will positively impact your marriage!