September 9, 2019

Muddling through the middle | Personal

I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to share this post and it was definitely hard to hit publish. But I’ve gotta believe that someone else needs it. As much as I needed to write it.

…I’m not gonna lie, I’m struggling right now. … But why is it that we (as a society) feel like we can’t talk about our struggles when we’re in the MIDDLE of them? We feel like we can’t share that we’re hurting or just getting by right now. Because others will think we’re complaining or not being grateful for what we have. Or because we feel like we can’t share until we’ve had an answer, until things are better. …

Which is crazy! Because life is all about struggles and figuring things out. And even if things look perfect on the outside, no one is ever okay ALL of the time. … At least that’s very true for me.

I was talking to my sister the other day and we were mostly just venting to each other. And as I was telling her what I was struggling with, she told me something she’d heard recently that really stuck with her and it stuck with me too. She was in church and they were talking about answers to prayers and one woman spoke up and said, ‘Sometimes it just feels like I’m MUDDLING THROUGH THE MIDDLE’.

… And THAT is EXACTLY how I feel right now!

I’m trying SO hard to figure out what’s right for me and my family. And to figure out this new place and how to be happy here. I’m dealing with doubts I’ve never had before and I’m being tested and tried.

And it’s HARD.

And I don’t have any answers yet.

I haven’t felt like everything is great and that I’m happy all the time, because I’m not. I’m just muddling through the middle.

I’m waiting.

I’m praying.

I’m analyzing.

I’m SURE I’m over-thinking.

And I’m trying.

And sometimes if feels like I’m failing. …

I have good days and I have bad days and I’m learning that it might be like this for a while. And while that totally sucks, I’m sure I’m not the only one.

… And I know that eventually great things are coming. If I work for them. If I keep my head up and if I keep going. …

So, here’s to anyone who’s trying.

Anyone who’s hoping.

Anyone who’s praying.

Anyone who’s waiting.

Anyone who’s struggling.

Anyone who’s muddling through the middle. …

‘Keep trying, keep trusting, keep believing, keep growing…’ ~Jeffrey R Holland

  1. LacieAnne says:

    <3 Thank you Sarah.

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