the journal

Right before I graduated college I went to a seminar and the speaker talked about something I will never forget. He told us a story of his father and grandfather. His grandfather was a chemist and encouraged all his sons to study physics and work in the science field. So, this particular son started college in physics and was trying to figure out a problem for one of his classes. He asked his dad for help and then about a week later, asked him for help again. And his father was confused and said, ‘You don’t understand this any better than you did last week’. This was when his son admitted that he didn’t enjoy physics and didn’t think about it all the time. His father then said, ‘You ought to find something that you love so much that when you don’t have to think about anything, that’s what you think about’. The speaker at the seminar then said, ‘If you find the right thing, you won’t count the hours until the end of the day’.

And that has ALWAYS stuck with me. Right after college I switched gears with my life and took a minimum wage job that I LOVED! ….at first. I got tired of it after about a year and decided to look for something different. So, I got a different job and now that it’s been a year, I’m tired of it once again. As I’ve started to look for and think about getting a new job, I’ve realized that I have had a LOT of jobs. Every year I end up getting a new job because I get complacent. I get tired of what I’m doing and find something new. Not because I’m not being treated right and not because I don’t like what I do, but because I don’t LOVE it.

This time, as I realized that I was tired of the same old routine, I decided it was time for something to change. I decided it was time for me to do what I love and not just what pays the bills. Which for me, is a HUGE deal. I am a perfectionist, and a realist. I’m a very frugal person and keep track of my finances daily. So, to switch from having a steady, reliable income to something that could fail, terrifies me. But it’s something I have to do, because photography and weddings and love is what I love!

I’ve been reading a lot of articles lately about disappointment, discouragement, competition, jealousy, and success. And I’ve been thinking a lot about trials and life. I’ve had quite a few trials the last several months that have really changed the way I think and act. And they have been hard. They’ve worn on me and my husband and have really tried my confidence and my faith. But as time goes on and as I keep trying to work on this dream of mine, my perspective has changed. And I’ve realized that the only way we can get through trials is to overcome them and let them make us better instead of tearing us down.

Trials are ingrained in our lives. No one is exempt. I was thinking about the weather the other day and how beautiful this earth is. And then I started thinking about storms and wind and snow and rain and how much I HATE all of that. But then I realized that after the snow storm comes the beautiful glistening white that is calm and pure. After the rain and thunder comes the beautiful rainbow and the amazing light! In everything in life, we have to know the pain and the turmoil and the stress to truly know the joy.

And that is why I do what I do. I have a saying on my wall that says, “When all else fails, Love won’t” and that has stuck with me and moved me to keep going when times are rough. My husband is my rock. He stands beside me and strengthens me in all that I do. And I love him. I love love. I love that feeling when you are so grateful to someone else for loving you, no matter who it is. And I know this may sound cheesy, but that is why I am a photographer. I have so much faith in love and I want to share that with the world! I WANT LOVE TO LAST and to strengthen and to heal and to OVERCOME. I want it to overcome the trials and tribulations that are handed us on a daily basis. I want it to overcome the jealousy and the competition and the discouragement in this world. I want love to be the one thing that holds us all together in this trial of life. I want to share my love with you and I want you to feel God’s love for you. Love can overcome ALL. I know that and I believe that with all that I am.