I believe in love and marriage. I believe that marriage can be fun and exciting and romantic. But I also believe that marriage can be hard, sometimes frustrating, and definitely about compromise and communication. So, I’ve put together 6 tips about how to love your husband more! I know I’m not perfect at this, but when I have made an effort to really and truly love my husband, my life is so much better!
~ 1 ~ Focus on the good
Focusing on our husbands good qualities instead of always nagging or complaining about the things we don’t like so much is so important. Our husbands want to feel loved and appreciated, just like we do! Imagine that! Being able to point out and compliment our husband for good things they’ve done bolsters them up and inspires them to keep doing those things. However, if we are always focusing on the bad things and complaining about things our husbands don’t do, it’s not going to get better. Instead, they end up feeling defeated and like we don’t appreciate ANYTHING they’re doing, whether it be good OR bad. I don’t know about you, but I like to have a happy husband. I like it when he’s excited to see me after a long day. But if I’m always nagging on him, then he probably won’t be excited or happy to be with me.
~ 2 ~ Write love notes
I’ll admit, I’m not the best at this one. But, last year, I actually made a goal to write little messages to my husband on our bathroom mirror in dry erase marker. I made a goal to switch the message every day. Unfortunately, I wasn’t the best at always doing this, but when I would forget to switch the message, at least there was still a sweet message from the last time I wrote one. Now, writing love notes does not have to be sappy and it doesn’t have to be everyday. You decide what works best for you and stick to it. When I wrote messages on the mirror, I would start with ‘I love the way’ or ‘I love it when’. That way, I could think of whatever happened the day before and just write it out real quick. It takes so little effort and when I was consistent about doing it, I always had positive things to say about my husband! This year, I made a goal to write a hand-written love note to my husband at least once a month. Just write whatever comes to mind. Try to remember the reasons why you married him and the good qualities you admire in him. Or just tell him something that you appreciated that he did for you or the kids. And, trust me, he will appreciate that you took the time to write something down and give it to him. I don’t really think of my husband as a sentimental person, but he has kept every single hand-written note I’ve given him since we’ve been married. That’s gotta mean something!
~ 3 ~ Support him
Being able to support our husbands is a HUGE compliment to them. We should be able to support them in anything they decide to do, so long as it’s not irrational. Let me expound. If your husband decides he wants to do something that you think is stupid, but it’s not dangerous and won’t harm anyone or anything, then JUST SUPPORT HIM! BUT, if he decides he wants to do something that is stupid AND dangerous, just say ‘Honey, I think this is probably a bad idea’. And if he decides to do it anyways, don’t be too harsh on him if something goes wrong. My husband loves RC planes. He has a very technical mind and he loves working on and flying these planes. However, it’s a pretty expensive hobby and I’ll admit, one that I don’t completely understand. Whenever a holiday or birthday comes up I’ll ask him what he wants and he’ll say, hobby stuff. And I usually roll my eyes and think, ‘Well, that’s not going to happen because I can’t afford that’. So, before last Christmas I asked him why he always wants me to get him those types of things. And he said, ‘I’d rather have one nice present and something I’ll use, than several little presents…I like to know that you can take an interest in what I like to do and support me in doing it’. And I’ll tell you, I was shocked! It’s not just because he wanted a new toy to play with; He really does appreciate it when I take interest in and support him in what he loves to do.
~ 4 ~ Listen to his advice
By nature, men will try to fix problems as they come. They have lots of ideas and can figure out the best way to fix almost anything. So, when you ask your husband for advice, actually take the time to LISTEN to it! It seems silly that we would ask for advice and then not really listen to what they have to say. For example, when Geoff and I first got married, I started cooking lots of dinners for us! Sometimes I liked to try new recipes and I’ll admit, I’m not the best cook so I also had lots of cooking questions. On several occasions, I would be cooking and ask Geoff for his opinion on something I was doing. He would give a reasonable, usually practical answer and I would say, ‘Eh, I’m not sure. Let me call my mom’. So, I would proceed to call my mom and she would give me the EXACT SAME ANSWER. Well, lesson learned. Your husband knows a lot more than you think he does and has way more insight to what you need than you realize. So, this may be a silly example, but listening to your husbands advice will probably save you time and frustration, and your husband will end up feeling awesome because you took his advice!!
~ 5 ~ Say thank you often
Just like women, men like to be appreciated. They like to know that what they’re doing is being noticed and acknowledged. For the past couple weeks, my husband has been working to remodel our kitchen. (Something I kind of forced him into doing) And since he doesn’t know a lot about construction he’s had to look up youtube videos and learn some things through trial and error. And I know it’s been difficult and stressful for him. So, I’ve made a conscious effort to say thank you after anything he does in the kitchen. Even if I’m frustrated or having a bad day, I have to remember that this is trying for him too and saying thank you for the work he’s doing is such a simple way to compliment and praise him. It will make him feel more loved and appreciated and will give him the strength to carry on.
~ 6 ~ Pray for him
This is a special one for me. I am a religious person and I believe in God. I believe that He can help us through ANYTHING if we rely on Him. And I believe that He answers prayers. So, praying for our husbands can do nothing but help. I know that sometimes marriage is hard and sometimes we might not feel like we have the best relationship with our husband. But something we can ALWAYS do is pray for them. But we can’t pray to change them. We can’t take away anyone else’s agency. We can only control what we do and how we react to challenges. So, pray for your husband to have strength. Pray for him to feel loved and appreciated. Pray for him to be able to make correct decisions on his own. Pray for his safety and protection. Pray to be able to love him better. And pray to be able to remember every day why you married him in the first place.